Philosopher's Stoned Theories

a superclassico day!

2006-10-14T03:52:00.000+04:00

Sunday 7 December 2003. The story begins at 4pm, or maybe cause that it is exactly the time when, let us call them, Tomax and Xamot began to slowly chew on the magic Thai mushrooms. 4pm is etched in their memory because they were interested to see how long the magic would last and it was the last time they would be aware of the sense of time.

That typical lazy Sunday began with an invitation to a party somehwere in the north side of london at some rich girl's house and excitement regarding the superclassico game between Barcelona and Real Madrid. The excitement was raised to a new level when Tomax had found an ad for magic mushrooms (champignon, as the french say) legally being sold at the Portobello Market. Hence, the adventure begins.

The plan was very simple. Tomax and Xamot would go to the market (find it first), purchase enough mushrooms for 5-6 guys, pick up some weed, come back home, endulge in the newly acquired vegetables and herbs, head to the party and enjoy the football match there. Perfect, sounds simple as I said.

The journey began with nothing to write about, except for a long walk and search it took to find the fuckin stall selling the shrooms. After a long walk, and nothing to eat since the morning, the stall was finally upon them. There was a short line of 6-7 people, from an old man to a young couple. Tomax and Xamot checked out what was for sale, asked a few questions and were ready to go with 5 seperate bags each filled with 10 grams of Thai shrooms.

As they were hurrying back to get home, Tomax stopped and asked Xamot, "Man, what if these things dont really do anything?". They ponder for a while as they walk to the tube and decide, fuck it, they should try some before they get home. However, they made it clear that if they start feeling anything to not take the tube under any circumstances whatsoever because it would just be too trippy.

They swallowed a few bits down with some orange juice because it tasted like dirt. They decided to start walking home. 10-15 minutes passed and Xamot looked at Tomax, "Do you feel waht im feeling?" The giggling began and in a state of stupidity, they decide to take the tube!!

The next destination was to get the weed. Our two adventurers head down the tube station via the escalators. They reach a tube map. Stand their for a few minutes. Go back up the escalator. Reach another map and stand their for a few minutes. Go back down the escalator... 20 or 2 minutes may have passed before they finally made it to the right side. As the train approaches, and they begin to walk in, a yound lady begins to hop up and down like a bunny rabbit screaming and then abruptly sits back down. Tomax sees this and immediatly asks Xomat "What the hell was that?" "Did you see that too?, was she happy that the train finally came?" Till this day, neither one of them knew exactly what had happened.

Aboard the train, Xamot has his hand on the over head rail. He suddenly begins to feel that his hand is still but his arm is twisting around. He begins to laugh hysterically and evrything around him looks in a shade of purple. Sitting beside them are two little boys that are twins and speaking Italian. The two boys look very well groomed and are with their mother. In front of them, sits a black girl all decked out in camouflage gear but is wearing a tiny little hat with her huge afro sticking out from underneath. Her huge afro looked like mickey mouse's head.

They finally reached their destination and found themselves on Baker St. It suddenly began to feel very cold and they were both shivering as they were waiting for the weed delivery man. As they were waiting, Tomax saw a family of afghans, a father, a mother and their two sons in full national dress walking in a straight line into the tube station. They looked like they had just stepped out of kandahar and crossed the tora bora mountains. The delievry boy finally arrived and they all exchanged a few jokes and words. The delivery boy began to walk away and yelled out "Have a nice trip boys.."

Tomax and Xamot made it back home. They walked into the living room and began to notice that all the furniture had been rearranged and that the walls were painted yellow. There was much confusion and laughter. Tomax then went to the bathroom to take a piss. As he was standing, the four walls of the bathroom began to get closer and closer. Tomax stretched his arms out to stop the walls from closing in but he also had to control his piss.

Xamot suggested that Tomax roll a joint and they settle down from all the crazy things that had happened. Tomax began to roll the j but was struggling so much becuase he couldnt determine the size of the roach. He kept asking Xamot "Is this roach long enough, I cant tell?" After 30 minutes, the beautiful herbal essence was in the air and the boys were relaxed. Xamot played an amazing mix of 'Papa was a rolling stone' and Tomax began to sin in his chair deeper and deeper into the ground.

To be continued...................................

The letter that changed the world

2006-10-14T00:12:00.000+04:00

"Foreign OfficeNovember 2nd, 1917

Dear Lord Rothschild,

I have much pleasure in conveying to you, on behalf of His Majesty's Government, the following declaration of sympathy with Jewish Zionist aspirations which has been submitted to, and approved by, the Cabinet.

"His Majesty's Government view with favour the establishment in Palestine of a national home for the Jewish people, and will use their best endeavours to facilitate the achievement of this object, it being clearly understood that nothing shall be done which may prejudice the civil and religious rights of existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine, or the rights and political status enjoyed by Jews in any other country."

I should be grateful if you would bring this declaration to the knowledge of the Zionist Federation.

Yours sincerely, Arthur James Balfour"

Great move Balfour! you fuckin dip shit!

Random thoughts from a sleepless night 3

2006-08-18T23:33:00.000+04:00

1) The solution to peace in the Middle East? Have the US build an island for another new Jewish state next to Hawaii. The money could come from the billions of dollars that the US sends to Israel in Aid (i.e. weapons). How hard can it be? If Nakheel can build The World in Dubai, im sure there are plenty of US companies (with the dicks of Bush and Cheney in) that are capable of doing the same if not bigger. They can call it Hawisrael or whatever the fuck they want. That way all the israelis can move there and be close to their beloved Americans. Everybody will be happy! Why not? Argentina and South Africa were options for a Jewish state, so why not just update things a bit now.... fuckers.

2) Ibiza: Drugs, music you would hear next year, drunk brits, bora bora, 22 hour parties, bad food, drugs, beautiful spanish girls that could roll their own joint in a club, sleazy male italian teenagers, not much alcohol going around except with the Brits, 10euro miniature water bottles, insane party animals from hell, djs from another planet that have to perform and never leave the decks for a minute, sexy girls that make waiters trip and drop glasses everywhere, and did i mention drugs...

3) Amsterdam sort of feels like a dirty version of a Hobbit town... narrow streets and characters that would allow JRR Tolkien to fill a hundred books..... or maybe its just the Laughing Buddha

4) Going to airports these days reminds me of futuristic movies where you always had fully armored police in patrol... whats that movie with Schwarzenegger called?? i guess we are in the future.. but where are the flying cars damn it???

5) How the hell did Sushi becaome so mainstream and popular?? who the fuck started that trend?

6) Nasrallah is the new Che Guevera.... arabs in 2020 will be wearing tshirts with his picture on it.

Shame on the Israeli People!!

2006-08-18T23:23:00.000+04:00

In the midst of the total illegal, monstruous, inhumane, cowardly, racist, barbaric, and fucked up attack on Lebanon, the Israeli people sat quietly while their government (they say democratic - i say fuck off) continued its assault. I believe that peace will only come when the Israeli people themselves are brave enough to face their government and fight against the brutality they cause on other human beings. When the US attacked Iraq, we saw protests from Washington to London, but do we ever see any in Israel. This could mean two things: 1) The Israeli people agree with their government's constant occupation and killings 2) The Israeli people are fucking cowards and believe that Arab blood is worth nothing. I believe its a combination of both. Lets face it, what makes up the people of Israel?? Immigrants from Europe and elseshwere who have come to this stolen land and have been offered a better life. So why in the hell would they risk all of that??

Kill the bongos guy

2006-05-27T01:58:00.000+04:00

What is it with Dubai's fasciantion and having a guy play bongos at a club?? It is probably the most annoying thing that a human being can come up with. The bongos completely destroy the rythm of the music, especially for electronic music. The person that came up with the idea should have their testicles deep fried in oil and then have him eat them with some ice cream. It is completely absurd! You go to a club in dubai and all of a sudden this guy jumps onto the bongos and start beating those things like a lunatic with no cohesion what so ever with the music. It is a disgrace and an insult to the dj. Not just that, but the guy playing the bongos begins performing these body movements which resemble a chimpmunk on speed.

Please, to all the promoters in Dubai, enough with the bongos. The A-list djs that you get is more than enough and lets just enjoy the music they play. Next time i see a bongo guy at a club, i urge the crowd to attack him and kick the shit out of him or put all your hands in the air and give him the middle finger. And please lets not get a guy on the sax instead to play alongside Danny Howells spinning... unbelievable!!!!

So, fuck you bango guy. Hope you read this. And to you promoters.. enough, the idea sucks. Sister Bliss did it best, when the bongo guy annoyed the hell out of her and completely destroyed the beat... she just waved at him to fuck off....

saudi dune bashing

2006-05-26T02:20:00.000+04:00

time to vent on saudi arabia and its backward laws. Go to saudi arabia and after 10 minutes in that country you would think it was 647 BC. How backward can a society get in terms of its laws towards human rights and dignity? and the worst part of it all is how they hijack Islam as an excuse. It just sickens me to my stomach. No wonder they are breeding psychos like Usama. Its fucked up! How dare they place women in a dark deep hole like that? women are the most beautiful thing on this earth and they try to erase and disgrace them. Enough of the 'ill scratch your back and you scratch mine' attitude of the rulers and the fundamentalist wahabi psychos. The people should rise sensibly and eradicate these horrid weeds. Blow this dark cloud away, that covers a country with so much potential and make it a place that God would be proud of...... it is a complete shame. A woman should be set on the highest pedestal and not buried to the centre of the earth.

Random thoughts from a sleepless night 2

2006-05-23T00:51:00.000+04:00

I laugh at PETA causing such a commotion in the media and at the media itself for elevating that commotion to such extremes becasue of sheep being killed and the conditions of slaughter houses in the Middle east. Where is the commotion when Iraqi prisoners are treated like cockroaches being sprayed by Pif Paf? No, that commotion is blown away in the wind. Maybe PETA should start representing human rights as well.

Bush is not an idiot. He is leading a bunch of bigger idiots that belived in him and voted for him again.

There should be a 'no television, no radio and no internet' day around the world. All broadcasting should be stopped for one day. I am sure we would all get closer as humans and our eyes would be wide open.

A new musical wave needs to be produced that represents a belief, movement or struggle. Disco, Grunge, Hair bands, Reggae, old school rap, Jazz.... we have nothing today.

Fruit roll ups, starburst, skittles are amazing creations.

A bar, a hut, a beach, a sail boat, a beautiful woman, a joint and a life in Jamaica sounds like heaven...

I AMMMMM trashhed

What if?

2006-05-23T00:14:00.000+04:00

We become impatient when the line at the supermarket is long or it takes an extra 20 minutes to get to work because of traffic. But what if you had to walk on foot an extra 10 miles through hills, mud, stray bullets and barbed wire to get to work?

We complain and get irritated when we are on the way to our holidays and the security checks at the airport take longer than 2.36 minutes. But what if you had to go through a military checkpoint and get strip searched on your way to that shitty job that earns you just enough to pay your taxi fare to get there in the first place?

We love it when we get a snow day and school is out. But can we even imagine what it feels like to be dying to go back to school?

We hate it when someone calls our house late night or the neighbors are so noisy and we cant sleep. What if you had a group of soldiers raid your house, kick you out of your bed, dump cold water on you and take your brother/father away blind folded and handcuffed at any night of the week?

We feel jealous and envy when our neighbors have a better looking christmas tree in their lawn or just bought a new car. What if your neighbors were dancing in nightclubs, drinking joyfully, and enjoying their youth while you were a prisoner at home due to the 7pm curfew surrounded by your family of 10 that share the same bedroom as you?

We love our homes to be clean and get pissed off when someone drops their salsa dip on your carpet. What if your whole house gets knocked down by a buldozer because your brother/sister could not live in 'what ifs' anymore??

What if you lived in Iraq or Palestine??????

The Holy Month

2006-05-22T23:22:00.000+04:00

Fashion tv is on and there are all these beautiful women on display (we can argue what beauty really is, but that is a whole other discussion). I have it on for the amazing music they play. But all I can think about is what begins on Friday June 9th, 2006 at 2pm GMT. For some of you, that date will automatically register and a smile will cross your face. For others ( avery small percentage of the world and lots of Americans), it does not mean anything. Im talking about the World Cup and football is one of the most beautiful things in this universe.

The Wcup only happens once every four years and is watched by a huge number (i could check the statistics but too lazy) of viewers. Let us not get into the details of the game but look at how the whole world comes together in the name of football for one blissful month. This is not just a sporting event for men, but means so so much more. Countries will come to a stand still. Productivity levels will go down and televisions around the world, from Rio to Tokyo will be scorching hot. Streets will empty during games and get filled when victory is achieved. How appropriate, that as i finish that sentence this intense drum beat is blaring from my television. Yes, I get goose bumps just thinking about it. The colorful sights and sounds that will be witnessed in Germany this summer are truly a beautiful picture of cultures and nations coming together. You will have african drums beating against English chants, Dutch orange shining against Italian blue. The stadiums will ring of oooohs!! and aaaahs!, as well as many sear words from around the world.

Some nations will mourn and some will celebrate for days and days. Players will become heroes, villains, national icons and have a place in hostroy forever. When Zidane, an ALgerian immigrant literally won the cup for France in 1998, his face covered the Arc de Triomphe. A nation that only recently had problems with its racism against north-african immigrants, stood together and united. If only there were more Zidanes in the world to bring peace and unity to nations. When England and Argentina meet, the battles of the Faulkland islands are ignited and national pride erupts like Vesuvius. But no arms (maybe a few elbows) are raised and no blood is shed during this battle. It is only up to the players to win one for their nation.

You cannot get away from it this summer. Enjoy it and svour the moments. I know I will get emotional when i watch that final 'summary' clip of the all the events (with a dramatic soundtrack) that occured during this holy month and the commentator says 'see you in 4 years'.

Random thoughts from a sleepless night

2006-05-16T00:56:00.000+04:00

Wouldn't it be cool if you could meet all the people that were born on the exact time and day that you were born? i wonder. what would they be like?

A shopping cart/basket at a supermarket could say alot about a person. the other day i had toilet paper and trash bags in my basket and suddenly felt depressed. strange.

why havent any of the chocolate/candy makers built a real willy wonka style factory? That pathetic hershey's place in the US doesnt count. I want to walk into a gingerbread house and swim in a chocolate river. wouldnt that make a great tourist attraction?

Whenever i cant sleep i think if that faithless song 'insomnia'. shit, how deep was maxi jazz's voice on that. i can hear it now.

2006-05-16T00:53:00.000+04:00

i heard this today: 'the world is driven by two things, greed and fear. Fear of losing and greed to win.'
thought it was interesting and so true.

Arab Union - AU??

2006-04-28T00:43:00.000+04:00

So the Europeans have had two world wars and have numerous languages, cultures, religious sects, and governmental structures, yet have managed to create the European Union. Now successful or not is a whole other debate. Being able to sit around the same table and have dinner together is successful enough for me. So why cant the Arabs have dinner together? We share the same language, similar cultures and the majority have the same religion. Make any sense? Yo would assume it would be much easier. Of course, excuses will pop out of everywhere: The US stops us, Israel is the thorn between us, the leaders are too selfish, etc..
yes, maybe some true but come one. All it takes is one guy to order to some pizza, one guy to get the beer and one guy to clean his house and have everyone over. Sounds simple to me.
You dont like pizza? you dont like beer? fine. You can order chinese, just come over. WHat? Ur busy? okay, but im getting some strippers, you must come. Ok, ill be right there.

come on guys just order some food, booze and strippers. then we can all sit down and talk.

Never Forget Palestine

2006-04-28T00:35:00.000+04:00

We must keep the memory alive. That is our secret weapon. Never forget. That is what makes them afraid. Let us breed like rabbits and overtake in numbers and not die like cockroaches.
Let us scream and shout but with our hands behind our backs. Let us scream even louder than ever before. Let us educate our minds and the world. Let us produce films, documentaries, books, stories, articles... take over the media and relay the truth.
That is the true struggle. Fight for freedom and not religions. Let us bring the people together to oppose the governments. Both sides can unite. We all share the same earth and deserve to have rights. We are one people with the same language.

Music is the answer

2006-04-28T00:25:00.000+04:00

Music. What is it about music that we love? what makes us dance?
I wanted to list all the different genres of music but i dont think it should ever be categorized. We all have personal tastes, just like everything else. But why do move our heads when we hear a funky bass line? why do we shake our ass when we hear a cool guitar riff? is it because of our human instinct from being a foetus in our mothers' wombs that we just want to get out... and start kicking. You always hear: 'the baby is kicking'. Maybe the baby is danicng his/her way out. Are we danicng our way out to free ourselves from this life.
Think about the craziest moment you had, where you danced so much that you actually felt your soul leave your body and another power taking control of it.
Think about that the next time you dance. How does music make us move? Fascinating.
How do we relate emotions to music? You could feel sad or happy when you hear a track.
Danny Tenaglia said it best: Music is the answer

Take my food, water and women. Leave me my music.
My music will never disappoint me. Will not cause heartburn, stomach pain, disease or heart ache. It will always be there for me. Leave me my music.

Philosopher's stoned

Mary Jane

2006-04-28T00:13:00.000+04:00

Oh Mary Jane. Probably the love of my life. I shall miss her, love her when she is around and crave her when she is not. I will touch her delicately with my fingers and take a sniff of her beautiful smell. She makes me feel so happy and relaxed. She puts all my worries aside and introduces me to new feelings. Everything i do is more enjoyable with Mary Jane Oh how i miss her. It was so much fun chilling on the couch with her, going to the park, listening to music and laughing our guts out together. She brought my friends together and introduced me to new ones as well. Mary Jane was always around, 24/7. How beautiful it was to wake up to her and go to bed with her. Let us not even mention the love making or animal sex with Mary Jane because that would be too hurtful to reminisce about. Oh Mary Jane! She made me see so many things in life, discuss interesting ideas, and create jokes that would rival Seinfeld any day. She makes me lose my mind sometimes and i forget everything when i am around her. How i wish she were here right now??

philosopher's stoned

The Bond

2006-04-27T23:08:00.000+04:00

No, not james bond. Bond as in the connection you have with someone. Something you relate to other people with. When another person mentions it, you smile and understand. A connection is made. A bond, a link, a mutual feeling. A bond you make with someone else whether a friend or a stranger when you have something in common. Guy girl, girl guy, guy guy, girl girl even with animals, it doesnt matter. These bonds could relate to feelings, moments in time when you experienced something, or seen, felt heard something. Whether drunk, stoned, sober - it doesnt matter. The ultimate bond is when you looh at the other person and without either one of you saying a word you feel that connection. Whether its a smile, smirk, wink, laugh, or absolutly nothing - you just feel it.
Now for some examples. You are with some friends hanging out and you mention the party scene in New York City. The person next to you nods his/her head and only says 'yeeah!'. There it is, a bond is made. Those two people must have felt that same feeling in NYC at some point in time or know something that the other people dont casue none of them made that connection. You mention the wonderful feeling of smoking a joint while listening to some thumping house music or reggae and the person next you gives you a little smirk. There it is again. You are walking down the street and see a girl wearing some funky cool yellow puma sneakers, while your blue ones are sitting in the closet. Another made without a word being said.
These bonds bring us together. Look around you - friends, family and you will find these bonds everywhere. One of my fvorites is when people connect through music or drugs. It feels like a s ecret club sometimes. An elite underground society that not everyone can understand or relate too. For example, track 5 on the latest Sander K cd was fuckin amazing, and the guy next to you goes 'fuck yeah'.
Keep an eye out for these bonds. I wish i had a better word for them. A secret word, so that only people reading this know what i am talking about next time. And that itself creates a bond and a whole new cycle begins.

philosopher's stoned